Meme

And today I punt. But for fun I will try a meme.

Lifted from SNL.

1. What was the biggest mistake I ever made?
Not trying hard enough.

2. What career was I really suited for?
Muppeteer.

3. Which of the girls I knew secretly had a crush on me?
None of them. The few girls who had a crush on me let me know about it.

4. Whats the 200th grossest thing I ever ate?
I don't kiss and tell.

5. Secretariat or Man-O-War?
Man-O-War.

6. Bent-knee or straight-knee sit ups?
Sit ups? Neither.

7. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles. Not even close.

8. Dogs or cats?
Dogs. Dog sized-dogs. I hate cat-sized dogs.

9. Smooth or chunky?
Smooth. Natural.

10. Irresistable force or immovable object?
Anything irresistable. Preferably in a pleasing shape. Damn you succubi.

11. Who is still alive? Elvis, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hoffa, Andy Kaufman, or Hitler?
Andy Kaufman. But he is dead to me.

12. Did Bruce Willis make a deal with the devil?
Yes, but the devil apparently isn't interested in renewing the deal.

13. Sugar Ray Leonard?
No.

14. 368th most surprising truth?
The holy grail is in a pawn shop in Hoboken, NJ.

15. What's the wierdest thing that causes cancer?
Sepp Dietrich.

16. Why did they change the formula for Coke?
The freemasons.

17. What happened to the $50 bill I lost at graduation?
It went to pay down the national debt.

18. Does god have a favorite religion?
Mithraism. I'm so sorry.